Funny Bone

The Complete Woman Magazine's Funny Bone section is dedicated to laughter! Laughter is healthy, the best stress reducer, anti-aging, and the more you do it the better you will feel. Imagine when you are an old woman...would you rather have a large number of frown lines or laugh lines? Let's work that funny bone and LAUGH more!

Note: Funny Bone is updated monthly.

Each month we will feature a funny story (usually written by a woman), a joke, top ten list and a humorous picture.

Funny Bone Featured Story

Humor for Women - PMS
By: Laura Browne

Once a month, the people around me get really stupid and obnoxious. Some people might think thats PMS. I just think that I tend to be more observant than normal a few days out of the month. (Im certainly more aware of how really annoying my husband can be.)

A few of my friends think of PMS as something negative. On the contrary, I see it as a chance to take charge. Im normally an easy-going person but when I have PMS, I turn into Super PMS Woman. I feel I must right all wrongs, no matter how trivial. I imagine I go into a phone booth like Superman to change into my Super PMS Woman outfit. (No leotards and tights though Im retaining a lot of water and I feel rather puffy.) Then Im ready to take on the injustices of the world, whether they exist or not. And believe me, when I have PMS, I can find plenty of injustices to complain about.

Normally, a mild-mannered mom, Super PMS Woman gets cranky faster than a speeding bullet, argues with friends and family more powerfully than a locomotive and is able to jump to conclusions in a single bound.

I know that if I wait until that certain week of the month Ill have that extra bit of, lets just say energy, to deal with incompetence. So when I need to fight with my insurance company about their most recent mess-up or when I have to call and complain to the catalog company that they sent the wrong order again, I wait until I have PMS. Why should I only share it with my friends and family?

Thats only one of the many positives of PMS. Really. Think about it, once a month, I have a built in excuse to be crabby. If I feel like eating a whole container of cookie dough ice cream or even raw cookie dough, I can do it without having to answer any questions. If my husband opens his mouth, I just snarl at him and point to the calendar and he gets the hint. As a matter of fact, he sometimes leaves skid marks as he runs out of the room to safety.

And cramps are a great way to get out of doing work. My husband thinks that I can still do housework when Im running a 102 degree fever but cramps are a mysterious disease that make it impossible for me to do anything. Last month cramps got me out of going to a kids birthday party. Okay, okay, the cramps werent that bad but I didnt want my husband to miss the fun of yet another princess fairy butterfly party.

And then theres the intense craving for chocolate. Its true, I always have a craving for chocolate, however, it definitely gets worse when I have PMS. Im prone to throwing open the cupboards while loudly accusing my family members of eating the last bits of candy left over from Valentines Day.

My friends tell me that the craving for chocolate I feel is psychological. It has nothing to do with PMS. And I tell them, Hey, get your grubby hands off my chocolate bar and you wont get hurt

So if you see me in my Super PMS Woman cape, just do what my husband does: give me some chocolate and back away slowly. Dont worry, Ill change back to my mild-mannered self soon.

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

Laura Browne is the author of a serious but practical & easy-to-use book for women, Why Cant You Communicate Like Me? How Smart Women Get Results At Work available at Barnes & Noble online, www.bn.com Laura offers free teleconferences on How To Deal With Difficult People At Work. For more information, email her at laura4b@earthlink.net or go to http://www.inyourfaceink.com

When Laura isnt writing, she helps women be more successful through WOMEN Unlimited, a nationally recognized resource for cultivating leadership excellence, http://www.women-unlimited.com

(This article was originally printed in Cranberry Magazine.)

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Laura_Browne

Funny Bone Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve ...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

Funny Bone Pic of the Month:

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Funny Bone